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Clean and Sober
Early on in my recovery, I celebrated days. I started off with a 30-day 'break'. (Typically people who drink a lot give themselves breaks to 'detox' after binging, after New Year's Eve or when they suffer some sort of negative consequence.)
I used the 30 days as a countdown, just like I'd always had.
THIRTY DAYS UNTIL I CAN DRINK AGAIN!!!
Drinking coffee by the pool on the island of Roatan, Honduras. Not going to lie, these are the moments I REALLY miss drinking. A few years ago I would have had a mimosa in my hand and a nice buzz going already. It's 10 am. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and I acknowledge that I am where I am today, right now, because I decided that champagne for breakfast was no longer acceptable for me.
I didn't do anything miraculous, I just made a choice.
So I went to an AA meeting on Wednesday. I just wanted to see if it was as bad as I remember it. I really miss having friends and I don't know where else to meet them!!! So it was kind of out of desperation. I really don't know where else to meet other sober people. This island is probably THE WORST place to get sober.
I live a surreal life here, where it's acceptable to drink on the job, dealing coke is talked about openly, and drunk driving is a way of life. I want to surround myself with like-minded people, people who are serious about not using and who want to take control of their life and actually live!!
Never in a million years did I think that I'd ever be writing about my sobriety. I've had several friends and as many strangers message me about their struggles, asking for advice and sometimes just needing to type out their thoughts so they don't go crazy. I share what I know, what's worked for me.
It's not the traditional AA/NA story, which is why I think a lot of people can connect with my story. It seems like there are more and more people that want to get sober, but aren't looking to sit in meetings where they tell war stories and feel pressured to find Jesus. Alcoholics Anonymous works for some people, and we have to do whatever works for us to get and stay clean. But that isn't my story.