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Anxiety feels like failure, no matter how well life is going.
It feels like panic.
Throat clenched, stomach in knots. Like there is another person inside, scratching to get out of this body.
In what seems like a million years ago, I was a hairstylist in Seattle, WA.
In 2005, when I was still in Cosmetology School, I walked past two large statues that stopped me in my tracks. I looked in and saw hairstylists wearing all black, busily moving about. Loud music, gorgeous people. I wanted in.
It was the coolest salon I'd ever seen and I decided, "I'm going to work here one day."
The only thing holding you back is YOU, and your bullshit story as to why you can't live the life you want.
I'm so guilty of doing this. We're all guilty. We dream big dreams and then talk ourselves out of them. We think about the amazing life we want, and then come up with all of the ways it's not going to happen.
We sabotage our success before we even get out of bed in the morning.
I spend a ridiculous amount of time thinking about my business, how to reach people, new ways to connect with women, how to get them on Discovery Calls, how I can best serve them and where to meet them. So many thoughts swirling around my head at any given moment.
So it hit me like a ton of bricks when I had one very clear thought that stopped me in my tracks...
For the last two weeks I took time off from my main hustle (as a server at a restaurant) to work on my side hustle (kick ass Life Transition Coach). Being a Virgo and an overachiever, I had a nice long list of things for me to do so I felt accomplished and productive.
One of the items on the list was to do 10 Discovery Calls and connect with women (and even one man!!) on the phone, and get hired for my coaching services. For those of you not involved in the coaching community, Discovery Calls typically last from 30-60 minutes and we talk about YOU!! What your goals are, what's keeping you from reaching those goals, and we explore what life would be like if you cleared out all of the shit and started seeing the bigger picture.
I read the book, 'Best Year Yet' by Jinny Ditzler in 2010, and although I haven't read it since then, the idea of the book really stuck with me. While I can't remember what the ten questions are that have you review your goals, accomplishments and expectations from the previous year, I've kept with me the basic premise: make each year better than the last one. I'd like to think that I've been doing this for the past five years: taking trips to Maui, going to the gym regularly, leaving careers that were of no interest to me anymore and then...
On April 15, 2010, five years ago today, I stepped onstage for the first time to try my hand at stand-up comedy. I had always wanted to try it and friends throughout the years told me I should be a comic. As a New Years Resolution I made a promise to myself that I was going to do more of the things that I'd always wanted to do, so I enrolled in a class to help me get started. Granted, this isn't the way most comics start out.
One thing that I've discovered while doing this forty-two day practice is that I have the attention span of a fourteen day practice. So when I write my own book to help you break through your old tapes and negative self-talk, it will be quick and to the point. :-) And then I'll just sell multiple books, different volumes maybe. Workbooks. With pictures you can color in and doodle on. Because that's the kind of attention span I have. Enlightenment for the Easily Distracted. I think I just figured out my first book title. Look!!! Shiny things!!