It was time for her to forgive herself
for those shortcomings that only she could see.
"We can sometimes be hard on ourselves for having chosen fear for so long, but the truth is, we often didn't know any better."
For so long it's all I knew and misery loves company, so of course I chose friends and lovers who were in the same mindset. I surrounded myself with people who chose to listen to the negative voices, who also lived small. It becomes comfortable and so hard to get out when you realize there's a different way to live. When I decided it was time to change my life and thinking, it was like a new awakening inside of me. Literally breaking through all of the locks and chains of my self-limiting beliefs, thoughts and words that came out of my mouth.
We hear so much about forgiving the people that have hurt us. I am still working on a few of those (it's freaking hard!!!). What has been THE HARDEST has been forgiving myself. Things I've said and done, signs I missed in relationships and 'should have' known better, jokes I made about people, all of the shit talking about other people and of myself, weddings I missed because I was drinking, ex-boyfriends and girlfriends that I hurt in unimaginable ways, the list is endless. I was a different person then, in a different lifestyle. And the shitty thing is that no matter how many times I tell myself that, there is still this sense of shame that comes over me. Until I've forgiven myself for choosing fear, I will stay stuck. So today I choose LOVE instead.
"A Course in Miracles teaches that what we project: we perceive: what we see inwardly determines what we see outside our mind."
You have so much love and support from those around you. But more importantly, you have so much love and support from within. You've learned so much about yourself and you're learning to love yourself. Good for you for fighting for your happiness!! Continue to let go of what no longer serves you. Release the people, the habits, the thoughts that keep you trapped in the past. Go towards the things that push you towards love. Open your heart, open your whole being to being in love. Crack your heart wide open and know The Universe supports you and will flood your life with so much good as a reward. Be focused. Be open. Be willing to grow. BE IN LOVE.