Original Post: March 6, 2015

"When we are grateful for what we have, we raise our energetic vibration...Gratitude is an integral part of the miracle mindset and will have a profound impact on your energy." ~May Cause Miracles

I absolutely LOVED the affirmation today...I release all littleness, all limiting beliefs.  I choose gratitude instead.

Littleness.  It's so easy to play small, to listen to the little voice in our head that tells us we can't have what we want.  We're not good enough, we're not smart enough, we don't have the energy, the money, the time, the support.  We downsize our dreams because what we REALLY want seems too big, too out of our reach.  So we set goals that we know we can attain, instead of setting goals that challenge us.  How freeing to release that littleness and the limiting beliefs and just go for it!!!

"Rather than look at your fears as problems, be grateful for the loving assignment for spiritual growth."

It's hard when you're in the middle of a shit storm to see the opportunity for growth.  When I was in the hospital for three nights, with my painkiller heroin nod, arm in a sling and wearing compression thigh high socks so I didn't get blood clots, the last thing on my mind was, "What an opportunity for growth!  I can't wait to see what this teaches me!"  Yeah no. 

So let yourself cry.  Let yourself get pissed off.  Play the 'Why Me?' game.  Drink your wine (if you must).  Do what you need to do.  But SET A TIME LIMIT!!!  Don't get stuck at your pity party.  It's not a good look and it's not a good place to be.  But we're human!  Of course we're going to feel shitty and get down.  And you have to let those feelings come up, just don't stay stuck there.  If you don't acknowledge those icky feelings and keep shoving them down, you're going to have a mental breakdown.  Your friends will start to wonder if you're a fucking robot and start to question your sanity.  If you have righteous rage, LET IT OUT!!!  Beat the pillow.  Scream.  Do what you need to do to process those feelings.  Have your feelings.  Feel your feelings.  And then let them go!!

When I fell and shattered my wrist I gave myself a week to feel sorry for myself (I'm a bit dramatic sometimes.)  But I needed that time to process what had happened.  I cried.  I pouted.  I complained.  I worried.  I cried more.  And then my week was up.  Time to suck it up and figure out how I could make it better.  Journaling.  Meditation.  Naps.  Yoga.  Reading.  My blog.  These have all been part of my healing process.  Parts that I wasn't ready for in that first week.  I needed time to sulk, be sad and feel sorry for myself.  Until I felt all of the negative thoughts and bullshit, I wouldn't have been open to seeing what I have to be grateful for.  

My Pity Party Week felt really dark, like a huge cloud was over me.  I just wanted to sleep.  Part of that was the pain and all of the meds, but the other part was mourning what I'd lost.  Once I moved through that, it was seriously like the storm had cleared and I was ready to get back to my old, cheery self, minus the gym selfie's and clumsy yoga tutorials.  I was ready to start feeling grateful again.  At least I didn't break both wrists.  I'm ambidextrous, so I can still write and do most of what I need to do left handed.  I have THE MOST amazing boyfriend who's helped me so much these last two weeks.  The list goes on and on.  Which leads me to my gratitude list.  Whenever I'm starting to spiral into negativity, I've always found it helpful to list the things I'm grateful for.  I've even kept a Gratitude Journal where I list three things every night before bed.  It's been a great way to stay positive, even if I can only list having a roof over my head and a job.  Some days are harder than others.  

So today I'm grateful for:

  1. Dave

  2. My sobriety

  3. My health

  4. My family

  5. Naps by the pool

  6. Cats.  All of them. 

  7. My kickass life

  8. My friends

  9. Savings in the bank

  10. Being ambidextrous

What are you grateful for today?