I Am LOVE.

               I Am LOVE.

Original Post: March 13, 2015

I really wish I had read May Cause Miracles when I was first getting sober!  In fact, the author, Gabrielle Bernstein, got sober when she was 25 years old and this book is part of her journey of living in a "miracle mindset".  

"On the evening of October 2, 2005, I said a prayer for the willingness to see things differently.  I prayed for love to enter into my fear-based mind.  And it did.  The next morning, an authoritative inner voice of love came forward and encouraged me to change my perspective on living.  My inner voice said, "Get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams." My willingness to follow that message helped me to hear my intuition and reconnect with love.  I've been listening ever since."

Get clean and you will live a life beyond your wildest dreams!!!  SIGN.  ME.  UP!!!

I have been FULL of gratitude ever since moving to Grand Cayman almost two years ago, but especially in this last year and a half.  And although I didn't get sober through Alcoholics Anonymous, I know several of their mottos, one of which is having an Attitude of Gratitude. Living in such a beautiful country, it's easy to be so thankful when I wake up and look at turquoise water everyday.  When I was living in Seattle, not so much.  It was harder for me to not only have gratitude, but to get out of bed everyday and see it as a gift.  I was just going through the motions, pretty much hating my life, and that hatred poured out into everything I said and did.  

I started keeping a Gratitude Journal years ago to help remind me what I was thankful for. I had gotten in the habit of just bitching all of the time and was really feeling shitty about everything.  Now they even have apps that you can use!  But I liked having it in journal form so I could flip through the pages.  Some days were better than others.  One day it was my cozy apartment, my job at the salon, that fun first date.  Another day it was my bed, my cats, and sleep.  As time went on I was able to see more things, little things, around me, that made me smile.  The flowers I saw blooming that meant winter was finally coming to an end, the happy exchange of words I had with a client that made my day, the cackle laughing conversation I had with my BFF.  I was able to see more and more things to be happy about.

I no longer keep a Gratitude Journal because I've woken up to what living in gratitude does for me.  I am grateful for who I am.  I'm grateful for the lessons I've had that have gotten me to where I am right now, sitting in my dining room listening to the waves crashing onto the shore, on a tiny Caribbean island.  All of the bullshit, the heartaches, the shitty bosses and lame jobs, have all led me to where I am, right now.  How can I be anything but grateful?  When I see a sunset, I say thank you.  When I'm taking a walk on the beach, I say thank you.  I'm grateful for being adventurous and daring.  I'm grateful for being brave. I'm grateful for living life on my own terms.  I'm grateful for being able to share my story with others.  I'm grateful for my passions and being able to follow them.  Life is so good. And I won't lie to you and tell you that when I have a dipshit customer that gets on my last nerve, I say thank you.  I'm not there yet.  Maybe someday.  But still...I'm grateful.

What would it be like for you to live a life of gratitude?  Try keeping a journal, or even just saying thank you when you see something that makes your heart smile.  Notice if there's a shift inside of you.  

            My never-ending wanderlust.  Good food.  My cat, Stanley.                                     Sunrises and sunsets.  Friends.                           My travels with The Man Friend.  Date night!

            My never-ending wanderlust.  Good food.  My cat, Stanley. 
                                   Sunrises and sunsets.  Friends. 
                         My travels with The Man Friend.  Date night!

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