Isn't there a Final Destination movie about this? It was just the anniversary of the flight where all those rugby players crashed and had to eat their teammates. Thank you Facebook for reminding me of that "Anniversary".
I'll let you in on a little secret: I hate flying. My love of travel trumps my fears, so I continue to put myself in anxiety-riddled situations, mostly made up in my head, but that's not the point. Those rugby kids were real, the BBQ Bobby Sandwich really happened and here comes the panic attack. I dress in layers for this reason: there is a high probability that I'm going to have to strip down in record time to limit the amount of sweating and to minimize passing out from being strangled by my shirt. Never mind that it's a V-neck. It feels like I'm wearing my little sisters turtleneck that's four sizes too small. Off. Take it all off.
"So. Much. Sweat. Does anybody else smell those exhaust fumes. IN THE PLANE??? NOBODY SMELLS THAT????WHY ISN'T ANYBODY ELSE CONCERNED???WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE WHOLE TEAM DIES?DID I TELL EVERYONE THAT I LOVED THEM? I HOPE DAVE'S OK.HE REALLY IS THE BEST BOYFRIEND I'VE EVER HAD.HE'S GOING TO BE DEVASTATED.HIS LIL HEART WILL BE SHATTERED TO PIECES.WHAT WAS THAT?WHY IS NO ONE ELSE CONCERNED?????
CALM DOWN YOU IDIOT YOU'RE FINE. Ok, you're right. False alarm. You're not dying. GO TO SLEEP!!"
Motion sickness pill kicking in and goodnight.
No panic attack this leg of the trip, but there was also no sports team.
Whoa this place looks like a mall!! There's even a shoe store!! In the airport!! Which is perfect because as I was on my way to the airport I realized the only pair of socks I had with me were the socks I was wearing. So much for following my packing list!
BOGO!!! Proud owner of 12 pairs of socks and some squishy shoe inserts for my Converse. Time for a whole meal of food, as this was my only opportunity today to eat. Scallops, broccoli, coleslaw. I'm saving my caloric intake for pizza, pasta, pastries and gelato.
I can't wait to get some work done on this flight. Lots to write, homework to catch up on. Window seat of course! My seat mate is here. "Oh, hi!" What I really mean to say is "I hope you don't mind snoring and farting, both things I'm apparently really good at in my sleep." I just smile.
Ok. Time for some goal setting worksheets. Hi neighbor!! I see you reading my screen! Ruuuuude. Knock it off. Who knew that in just 10 short minutes I'd be hearing, "Have you heard about the Gospel of Christ?"
Oh, Jesus. Come on...
"I believe in the Kingdom of Heaven. What do you believe in?"
I believe in SHUTTING THE HELL UP.
"Yeahhhhh. You know what, I'm not talking to you about this." WE WERE STILL SITTING AT THE GATE!!!! I HAVE EIGHT MORE HOURS!!!
I know this could have been used as an opportunity to have a "great discussion about our beliefs and finding a common ground and understanding", but from my experience it always ends up in a "I'm right, you're wrong AND YOU'RE GOING TO BURN IN ETERNAL HELL ON A PLANE IN A SWEATY TURTLENECK WITH BASKETBALL PLAYERS" conversation.
Headphones in. Ignoring everyone until Venice.